Sunday, February 21, 2016


My workload has tripled. I cringe at the thought of the queued deadlines. So much to do in so little time and mind you that this is not even the dissertation stage just yet!

As weak as it may sounds, I considered quitting at one point. Told my mom about it, my husband, my sister and some of my close friends. Everyone understood the situation I am in but they talked some sense to me and forced me to stay. It might be irrational to quit halfway to some, but please, you are invited to be in my shoes right now.

I keep reminding myself on what Allah promised us;
I am what my servant expects I am (Hadith Qudsi)
Being the fragile introvert I am, people know me as someone who get disheartened and give up easily. Fear of failing is normal but I always, always have that hunch that I am going to screw up anything I do (baking included). My mom told me that it is wrong to feel so because it is as if I am belittling Allah's power in what He has written for me. Astaghfirullahalazim.

The hadith above simply means, if I keep thinking that I will fail and if I keep thinking that Allah will fail me, He will fail me. Because that is what I have expected from Him. Nauzubillahiminzalik! I do not want to be an ungrateful servant. I realized that I need to change my mentality. Things will be tough (what is life without challenges?) but my over worrying habit needs to stop. It will not do me any good.

So, I am now taking things one step at a time, but in a faster  mode. Haha! Is that even possible? Yes. If Allah is willing, anything is possible.

Still in the midst of typing my dissertation draft to be submitted the day after tomorrow. I am in no power to say that I will do great but at least, I can look back and tell myself that I have tried my very best. In shaa Allah.

On a lighter note, what's staying up and meeting deadlines without the company of snacks? Do you know that there are thousands of ranges of chocolates here in UK and they are sold from as low as 39p per bar? Terrible choice of marketing unhealthy foods at very low prices.

I only have eyes for Cadbury.

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