Wednesday, May 16, 2018

63

Tomorrow is the start of the fasting month. This year, it is going to be a new experience for me as I will be fasting as a pregnant lady. I've heard and read various stories about how fellow pregnant ladies survive Ramadhan and I've picked up tips here and there. In shaa Allah, may it be a breeze one for all of us.

Growing up, my family and I very rarely have our break fast outside. We would cook and get some bubur lambuk from the mosque daily and eat together - all five of us. My dad does not encourage us to eat out as he is concerned that if we do, we would be rushing to the mosque for maghrib, tarawih and isyak prayers. As he always put it, "it is only a month in a year".

When I got married to Hilmi, I first learned about breaking fast at suraus/mosques. I was shocked. How naive was I to not know about this after living for so long. Apparently, in suraus or mosques, the people living around them would bring dishes, desserts, and drinks for the people in the jemaah (congregation) to eat. In some places, the committee of the mosques will prepare buffet spread or packeted foods for the congregation. I think it's a very interesting, convenient and wonderful approach to have meals together at the mosques and you don't have to worry about rushing to the mosque as you're already in one. 

Last year, as it was our first time fasting here together, we agreed to go to a different mosque every day or at least, every two days. Not only we want to experience the different breaking fast atmosphere but also the different tarawih and mosques environment. What's even better is that I told my family about it and they tried breaking fast at the mosque as well. My mom especially was so delighted when she first tried it as she no longer needs to rush and cook daily, and can concentrate on other better things to do.

I really enjoyed this newfound experience and I am so blessed to have met Hilmi who introduced such culture to me, or else I wouldn't have known. Looking forward to more mosques-hopping this year!

Happy fasting, dear readers!

Monday, April 9, 2018

62

It's been over a month since I started my new job. My first full-time job. 

Previously, I was more of a freelancer. I loved it that way, to be honest. My working hours were flexible. I was working 3 hours during the days, 2 hours during the nights and the whole weekends. I could do more than two jobs at a time thanks to the flexibility of my working hours and could easily rake in around RM5k a month. 

Life was good until I realized that I need to secure a full-time job for black and white purposes. I normally get paid by cheque or bank transfer for my freelance job. I didn't receive any paychecks so it was difficult for me to prove my employability to some. Also, it didn't look good on my resume when recruiters saw that I was a freelancer, that I was working part-time. It didn't matter to them on how much I earned, but their concern was my experience. On why was I jumping between companies and didn't stay for a year for a certain job. 

You see, after I came back from UK (February 2017), I had to wait for 7 months to get a job. It was horrible. And when I got the offer to work as a tuition teacher, a part-time lecturer, and freelance trainer, I jumped at the opportunity! For someone who has been jobless for more than half a year, you would just grab anything that was thrown at you. Alhamdulillah, I loved it. But the thing with part-time and freelance contracts is that they weren't given on a-year basis. Normally it is renewed on a 3-months basis.

Plus, I fall pregnant early this year just right after I was finishing my lecturing contract. I didn't renew it nor did I look forward to being renewed. I wasn't in the state where traveling to work for 30-40minutes in the morning was something that I could bear. My first trimester wasn't a really smooth sailing one, hence I decided to quit the lecturing job.

I then tried applying for a job nearer to my house. Just my luck, they took me in. Alhamdulillah. I am still getting used to the 8-4 working hours. I do miss my flexible working hours at times. But I needed this change and I needed the stability. 

It did feel lonely at times before when I was only working for 3 hours during the day and nobody else was at home. Everybody else was working full-time except for me. Now, we all go out at the same time and come home about the same time. I kinda like that rather than having plenty of free time but being left alone at home.

Whatever sails our boats, I guess. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

61

I'll be turning 29 tomorrow. 

Usually, I'll be pretty hyped about it. Hinting to my family members on what they should get me and where they should bring me for my birthday dinner. Tweeting the countdown to my birthday. But this year I did not say a word to any soul. 

My birthday falls on a Wednesday which is the only weeknight that I don't work. Plus, last weekend was a working weekend for me (both Sat and Sun!). So you pretty much can guess how worn out I am. I am just too tired to even celebrate myself. 

At this point, I can safely say that I can imagine me celebrating my birthday night on bed, tucked in with lights off at 9.30pm. I am getting old (I am not complaining about that). In fact, I am embracing it. 

But of course, a slice of cake and some gifts being sent to my bed wouldn't hurt ey? ;)

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

60

I reached it about 2 months ago, actually...

I have never felt this happy and comfortable in the longest time. Why? I have just discovered the wonders of maternity pants!! :D

For the last couple of weeks, I have been wearing my usual pair of slacks and pants to work. I tried going to Aeon and Parkson to find maternity pants but I could not even find the maternity sections in the stores! I am reluctant to buy pants online because I insist to try them out first.

Every morning I would complain to Hilmi, telling him how much pain I am in by forcing myself into the usual pants, knowing that I could never zip it up. I was in denial. I knew I could and should not force myself into it but I still did. 

Yesterday, I dragged him to accompany me to get some maternity pants from Aeon. I know I've said that I did not find any there before but you know, desperation calls for things to be checked twice. So there we were in the maternity section. Lo and behold! We found a rail full of maternity pants! 

I picked a black pants and rushed to the fitting room. Honestly, it felt soooo good, I almost cried. My tummy no longer feels like something is poking it hard and I no longer feel suffocated.

I called Hilmi in to see if he approves it (the length and cutting). To my surprise, he was smiling when he saw me in the pants! I'd like to think that he was relieved and happy that he no longer has to hear his wife complaining in agonizing pain.

Alhandulillah for my new two pairs of pants!