Tuesday, December 12, 2017

57

I am already seeing goodbye-2017-here-are-the-highlights-of-my-year posts online now so I feel like sharing mine here.

2017 has been wonderful alhamdulillah. The highlight of the year was definitely when I graduated last January, my sister's wedding in September and everything else in between. I honestly can't pick.

As mentioned in my previous post, we did struggle for a few months in finding a job. I recently found out that I have some health problems which I am attending to as we speak. There were ups and downs but nothing that I regretted about. I am content with what I have and have gone through. 

I hope that in 2018, my family and I will be granted health, wealth and more time to spend with each other. May all other prayers be answered this year too, ameen.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

56












We've been itching to go for an Asian gateway ever since we came back from the UK. I've been missing the sun, the beaches, and the glorious Asian foods. Unfortunately, we've been flooded with work and family commitments for my sister's wedding last September. One thing led to another and the next thing we know, it was already November.

After thorough consideration, we ended up choosing Krabi as our destination. Our first Asian honeymoon. I know. I know what you're thinking. "Honeymoon?! Didn't you just get back from an 18-month honeymoon in the UK?" - actual dialogue by my sister.

Yes, we did and those 18 months are the best months of our lives. But I want to discover new places with my husband. I have been to Thailand several times but Hilmi has never been there. Initially, I wanted to let him experience Bangkok (I love Bangkok!) especially the Chatuchak Market, but I don't think a crowded and noisy place under the hot weather can be considered as a romantic and relaxing gateway. Hence, Krabi came next on the list.

We went there last weekend and stayed there for 3D2N. We managed to do everything that we planned to cover while we were there such as island hopping, food hunting, riding on a tuk-tuk, strolling by the beach and most importantly, Thai body massage! 

Alhamdulillah, it was a fantastic trip. Hilmi had a blast and seeing him happy is the most important thing for me. I'm positive that we will be back here again soon. Should I make this a yearly thing to do? Most probably I should.

Monday, October 2, 2017

55

2 months to the end of 2017! How time flies! Alhamdulillah, both Hilmi and I have started working. I still remember how depressing it was to be unemployed for more than 6 months.

To wake up to nothingness. To not have a routine. To feel like the whole postgraduate thing was a waste of time and money. To feel ungrateful. To spend so much time indoor that made us sick just to think about it. To feel embarrassed to go out and meet anyone. To avoid being asked on when will we get a job. To be very careful with spending our last few ringgits. To feel guilty of getting money from our parents since we are old enough to supposedly be earning our own money. To feel sorry for ourselves. To start blaming things, people and the world. In short, to become close to depression.

I've been to so many interviews, and I'm glad that I went to every single one of them because of the different experiences I was exposed to. I don't blame them for not getting in touch with me post-interview. In fact, I don't know who is to be blamed - the companies, the economy, the timing, or myself? Everywhere you go, you'd hear people talk about how the economy and timing are bad in Malaysia now for companies to recruit new employees. It was terrible and I know we're not the only one in this boat.

People keep suggesting me to do something else other than teaching or non-language related fields. I'm sure they meant well, that timing is bad and it is best to keep our options open. But deep down, I wish they'd understand that I can't simply give up and put my passion to teach aside. I have my high hopes on how I should contribute to the society, but instead of changing it altogether, I downgrade.

For instance, I aimed to teach adults learners, be it in college/universities or learning centers. The goal is to teach adults. Since the job hunt was very challenging and it was almost impossible, instead of changing the field of work, I changed my target students. I sent applications to teach children as young as preschool learners up till secondary school students too, apart from the adults. As long as I can teach.

I'm glad that I stayed true to what I want because I am now teaching adult learners in a local institution. You deserve to dream big and it may just come true! 

Onto better days, in shaa Allah.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

54

One of the things I am very grateful for Hilmi is how he is very appreciative towards what I do for him.

Even the littlest, simplest things like bringing him his favorite ais kosong without him asking, or accompanying him to the mamak stalls at 2am to watch football matches, or watching his favorite movie at the cinema (even though he knows I hate the genre). He will always, always let me know how thankful he is for what I did.

"Thank you awak tolong masakkan. Sedap!"
"Thank you tolong cuci jerseys saya by hand tadi"
"Thank you tolong ingatkan, kalau tak mesti saya lupa"
"Thank you teman saya walaupun saya tahu awak penat"

It feels nice to know how much someone appreciates your actions and thoughts. It feels good. Damn good. 

I am not really used to this culture. In my household, we don't really say thank you to each other. I mean, of course we do. But it doesn't happen often. Why? I guess we are the kind of family who shows our gratitude rather than saying it. We return the favor by doing something nice to the person. For example, my mom picked me up from the train station after work. My way of thanking her is by helping her with the chores or volunteer to cook for the day and let her have some rest. Or when my sister paid for my meal during our outing, I would show my appreciation by buying her the blouse she's been eyeing on. Or when my dad gave me extra pocket money, I would thank him by driving him around on weekends and giving him a good foot massage. 

For us, "action speaks louder than words" is the mantra.

So, having Hilmi thanking me in person is a breath of fresh air. It is a good change and a good start for me to express it more now, as well as showing it.

Thank you, Hilmi, For being you.