Monday, October 2, 2017

55

2 months to the end of 2017! How time flies! Alhamdulillah, both Hilmi and I have started working. I still remember how depressing it was to be unemployed for more than 6 months.

To wake up to nothingness. To not have a routine. To feel like the whole postgraduate thing was a waste of time and money. To feel ungrateful. To spend so much time indoor that made us sick just to think about it. To feel embarrassed to go out and meet anyone. To avoid being asked on when will we get a job. To be very careful with spending our last few ringgits. To feel guilty of getting money from our parents since we are old enough to supposedly be earning our own money. To feel sorry for ourselves. To start blaming things, people and the world. In short, to become close to depression.

I've been to so many interviews, and I'm glad that I went to every single one of them because of the different experiences I was exposed to. I don't blame them for not getting in touch with me post-interview. In fact, I don't know who is to be blamed - the companies, the economy, the timing, or myself? Everywhere you go, you'd hear people talk about how the economy and timing are bad in Malaysia now for companies to recruit new employees. It was terrible and I know we're not the only one in this boat.

People keep suggesting me to do something else other than teaching or non-language related fields. I'm sure they meant well, that timing is bad and it is best to keep our options open. But deep down, I wish they'd understand that I can't simply give up and put my passion to teach aside. I have my high hopes on how I should contribute to the society, but instead of changing it altogether, I downgrade.

For instance, I aimed to teach adults learners, be it in college/universities or learning centers. The goal is to teach adults. Since the job hunt was very challenging and it was almost impossible, instead of changing the field of work, I changed my target students. I sent applications to teach children as young as preschool learners up till secondary school students too, apart from the adults. As long as I can teach.

I'm glad that I stayed true to what I want because I am now teaching adult learners in a local institution. You deserve to dream big and it may just come true! 

Onto better days, in shaa Allah.

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