18

There's been talks about weddings in my household recently. Dad first brought up the topic as I was stuffing myself with the chocolate ganache slice during my birthday dinner last week and I almost choked out of disbelief. Really.. Dad?

The green light was given, alhamdulillah. For me, that is all that matters now. The when and the where can always be discussed later. 

I have always contemplated with the idea of getting married early with getting married later. Simply because, I am clingy by nature. Clingy with my parents, my sisters, my cats, my friends; technically everyone I'm close with. I can't imagine parting from them yet. It's something totally normal. But in the other hand, I want go get married asap to this person I love and to avoid ourselves from doing things that are not halal. 

My sister is not making this easy at all. 

She gave me a belated birthday card with a small gift box last night. I opened the card first, obviously, since she knows how much I love getting cards. It was past midnight when I read it and I knew it was a bad idea going to bed crying but the card was so touching, so beautifully written, I couldn't help not to. I was so moved by it.

In a nutshell, what she wrote was, she's aware that our sisterhood has its ups and downs, she appreciates my feedback to her whenever she needed one. She claimed that my advices always make sense (ehem!). Now that it is just me and her at home with our parents, she said that she has already imagined the loneliness she'll face when I'll fly soon. The same feelings she felt when I was in college or hostel few years ago. My heart aches reading that. 

She also attached prayers for me, hoping that I will be blessed with a great man that can take very good care of me. I lost it when she wrote, "before you become someone else's, let's cherish our moments together while we still can."

*cried buckets loads*

I definitely am not ready to part with my sisters. Clingy sister is clingy. Dilemma. Dilemma. Dilemma