14

4th August 2014. Reported duty to SMK Convent Klang together with fellow 4 trainees.

4th September 2014. Still here, kicking and alive

I am assigned to teach two Form 4 classes; 1 advanced and 1 intermediate class. I would be lying if I say that things are smooth-sailing, but things definitely are better than my previous internship experience during diploma days. 

Many of my friends envied congratulated me for being placed in a Convent school. "It is a good school, their English proficiency is generally above average." Yes, luckily they are, as the majority of the students are non-Malay. 

The teachers are okay. The food is okay (keep doing my own #throwback whilst in the canteen during the first week). The students are okay. The given-timetable is okay. The fellow trainees are okay. The parking spots are the ones that usually give us headache at the beginning of the day. 

The typical impression always imposed on trainees or new colleagues are "sombongnya". Hmph. I get this remark a lot. Like, a lot. Even during lectures, during previous internship, from lecturers/juniors/classmates, I have always and still being mistaken as arrogant and too serious. I was dubbed "unapproachable", "serious-looking-senior-I-don't-want-to-have-eye-contact-with", etc.

Meh.

It used to hurt. I used to take it pretty badly. I would wear fake smiles everywhere I go. But the thing is, its something I was born with. I do smile. Hey, I grin a lot! Have you not seen my signature grin? But, just because I choose to keep quiet or not have small talks with you, doesn't mean that I am arrogant or snobbish. I am not good with kiss-assing compliments or fake-greetings. I don't. To me, I have always preferred to keep quiet than to have unnecessary talks. 

After all, Prophet Muhammad PBUH said it himself;

"Speak the truth or speak nothing at all."

Luckily, a fellow trainee backed me up and said "she always had that kinda look even in college, we used to be afraid of her. it's just how she looks like, but she's a nice person if you get to know her."

I have better things to worry about especially my lesson plans and teaching aids, thus I would really appreciate it if such comments or 'requests' forcing myself to smile would just stop. We weren't born to please everyone, ey? 

Yes, they do happen.